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SUSAN JOHNSTON OWEN-JAZZ  /  SITE OWNER/MUSICIAN, WRITER,ARTIST, ELEMENTARY AND SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER (RETIRED)

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 SEARCH IN THE BLUE BOXES BELOW OR LOOK AT THE TABLE OF CONTENTS IN THE 2ND BOX

BULLIES AND EMOTIONS

As a former teacher, this broke my heart the most. We must work together to stop it.

NOBODY LIKES A BULLY

1)     Establish lines of communication and talk for at least 15 minutes a day. Bullying can be difficult for parents to talk about, but it is important that children know they can talk to you, before they are involved in bullying in any way. StopBullying.gov and our partners at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) have easy tips and tools that can help start the conversation.

2)     Make sure kids know safe ways to be more than a bystander. When kids witness bullying, it can affect them too. Helping kids learn what they can do to help when they see bullying can help to stop bullying. Click here for more suggestions on how bystanders can help.

3)     Know your state’s anti-bullying law and your school’s anti-bullying policy. Forty-nine states have laws requiring schools to have anti-bullying policies. Know what your school policy says and how to report an incident of bullying if you ever need to.

4)     Learn how to support kids involved in bullying. When you find out your child is involved in bullying, it is important to know how to respond. Whether your child is bullying others or is the one being bullied it is important to know what steps to take, and which to avoid, in order to resolve the situation.

5)     Take an active role in anti-bullying initiatives. The key to addressing bullying is to stop it before it starts. Work with your children, their school, and the community to raise awareness and take action against bullying. Toolkits like the Health Resources and Services Administration’s Community Action Training Modules can help you start an initiative in your community. You can get your children involved, too, by using the Youth Leaders Toolkit to help them mentor younger children.

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Not just children it's on the rise in the workplace.


What Is Bullying?

Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.

Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.

It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.

 

 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html

STEPS TO TAKE TO AVOID BEING BULLIED

1. Try not to give the bully an easy victim. Be someone the bully does not want to pick on. Work on building good self-esteem. If you feel confident inside yourself you won’t look like a victim and it will be easier for you to stand up for your rights.

Work on building good self-esteem by:
· identifying what you are good at
· be involved in activities that you enjoy build, branch out or expand your hobbies and talents

Presenting yourself with confidence:
· make eye contact when speaking with someone
· use good posture (stand straight, shoulders back, be aware of personal space—3 -6 feel)
· pay attention to what you wear—is it right for the situation?

2. Develop ties with friends and family. This will help you to feel less isolated. It will also provide you with support and someone to talk to.

Here are some ideas of where you might be able to get support.

Your friends—You may find that you aren’t the only one being bullied. Hang around with your friends, the bully might get bored waiting to catch you alone. Stick up for others who are being bullied.

Your parents—Hopefully you can talk to your parents and you can discuss your problems easily. They care about you and may have some ideas to help or may support you by talking to someone at school or where the problem is.

Your teacher—Most teachers know how to handle bully situations and will be able to help you. If your teacher doesn’t help then go and see your principal.

Your coach or group leader—If the problem is during a group activity then it is up to the adult to support you. If there is a bully at work in your team then the team will not be doing their best.

The police or a community leader—If you have no one that you feel comfortable talking to then go to your police station. Police do not like bullies and will be able to give you some information that might help you.
If you are still uneasy about the situation you must revisit someone that gave you support. DO NOT GIVE UP. Keep telling until someone listens.

http://www.safenetwork.org/Bully_Prevention_In_Schools.htm



The Consequences of Bullying for the Victims, Bullies, and Witnesses: http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/bullyingconsequences.html



http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/typesbullying.html

Different types of bullying and what can be done about it:



Different Kinds of Bullying

1. Physical bullying includes any physical contact that would hurt or injure a person like hitting, kicking, punching, etc. Taking something that belongs to someone else and destroying it would also be considered a type of physical bullying. For example, if someone was walking down the street and someone came up to them and shoved them to the ground, that would be physical bullying. In elementary and middle schools, 30.5% of all bullying is physical.

2. Verbal bullying is name-calling, making offensive remarks, or joking about a person's religion, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or the way they look. For example, if there was a group of kids who made fun of another kid because he couldn't run as fast as everyone else, it would be an example of verbal bullying. 46.5% of all bullying in schools is the verbal type. Verbal aggression is when a bully teases someone. It can also include a bully making verbal threats of violence or aggression against someone's personal property.

3. Indirect bullying includes spreading rumors or stories about someone, telling others about something that was told to you in private, and excluding others from groups. An example would be if you started a rumor that a boy in your class likes playing with dolls, and if the reason that you made up the story was because you thought it was funny. This would be indirect bullying. Indirect bullying accounts for 18.5% of all bullying.

4. Social alienation is when a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose. It also includes a bully spreading rumors, and also making fun of someone by pointing out their differences.

5. Intimidation is when a bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make him or her do what the bully wants.

6. Cyberbullying is done by sending messages, pictures, or information using electronic media, computers (email & instant messages), or cell phones (text messaging & voicemail). For instance, if you sent a picture of a snake in an email to a person because you know that they are afraid of snakes, that would be an example of cyberbullying. According to a survey done in 2003 only 4% of bullying is listed as "other types" and this would include cyberbullying. Even though this number seems small, the growth of this type of bullying is going up fast because of the spread of technology around the world.

 

                                      


Workplace Bullying: Applying Psychological Torture at Work

Have you been the victim of a workplace bully?

What happens when a schoolyard bully grows up and enters the workforce? Or worse, what if that bully becomes your boss? The result can be outright aggressive behavior or a subtle psychological torture that can make the workplace a living hell.

Someone close to me is experiencing a horrible case of psychological bullying at work. In her case, the main bully is a supervisor, but the supervisor has created an "inner circle" that helps in applying the bullying tactics. Her story caused me to look back on other cases of bullying at work that I have encountered. Unfortunately, there have been far too many.

Workplace bullying is more common than you might expect. A 2007 Zogby survey found that 37% of workers - representing 54 million people -- reported that they had been bullied at work. Some researchers have reported that workplace bullying is a greater problem than sexual harassment.

See All Stories In

The B Word

Bullying seems to be on the rise in American culture. If schoolyards are the stomping grounds of young bullies, offices are the playground of grown ones.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

 

What are the effects of bullying? Targeted employees can experience fear and anxiety, depression, and can develop a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder - leading to psychological harm and actual physical illness. This leads to absenteeism and turnover as bullied employees avoid or flee the torturous workplace.

What are some of the tactics bullies use in the workplace?

Threats. Most commonly, bullies threaten the employment or career status of the employee. Threats of being fired, or in my friend's case, a threat of "I will dock your pay!" can be particularly troubling (even though my friend is a union employee so her pay cannot actually be affected).

The Silent Treatment. Often a bully and his or her "inner circle" will ostracize victims to the extent of completely ignoring them - refusing to even acknowledge their presence. In other instances, the bullies will stop talking when the victim enters the room, but perhaps continue talking in hushed tones with furtive looks at the victim, giggling and/or making disapproving grunts. You know, the same kind of tactics used in the schoolyard.

Rumors and Gossip. Bullies love to spread lies and rumors about their victims, and these can sometimes be quite vicious. Although untrue, rumors and gossip can filter throughout the organization and actually tarnish an individual's reputation. I've known many insidious cases where a bullied victim sought to fight back, and the bullies spread rumors that the victim was merely a "complainer" and a "problem employee."

Sabotage. Bullies may go so far as sabotaging the victim's work. This can be outright (e.g., destroying or stealing a work product, or more subtle (e.g., altering someone's powerpoint presentation or omitting a page from a report).

 


101: Workplace Bullying

09/26/11


School anti-bullying policies are now commonplace. But what if you feel unfairly targeted by a supervisor or co-worker at your job — to the point where it’s difficult to enjoy your home life or vacation time? Bullies pressure others to isolate you, make threats or sabotage your work. Here are a few tips to combat a bully at work:

Confront, with caution. A peaceful conversation with the bully about your dissatisfaction with your treatment is in order, advises an article on SpeedUpCareer.com. Articulately express your feelings to the bully in private. If you have done something wrong and believe that’s what ticked off the bully, apologize. “A confrontation of this sort does not leave room for aggression and will mostly help the bully realize that he or she has been unnecessarily ruthless,” the article states.

Document, document, document. Every interaction with a workplace bully should be noted and all emails must be saved. The paper trail gets you ready for a formal complaint, says employment attorney Sheila Criscione in a WorkplaceViolenceNews.com article. “Be vigilant and make sure your superior and senior managers, as well as your human resources department, are put on notice of the bully behavior,” she advises. Also, document the company’s response and have a physician document your work-related stress symptoms.

Prepare for departure. Whether or not you choose to sue, conditions at work may worsen and you may want to leave your job. “There’s no guarantee anyone will do the right thing,” says Dan Elash at Leader-Values.com. Elash recommends creating a financial cushion, networking and lining up references well before moving on.

http://www.wbjournal.com/news49879.html


 

I frequently think about the young people and how they deal with today's world.  Today I found some writing which inspired me. Welcome to my site Samantha. I think that it's time to start a page for stories and poems about the difficulties in growing up. Times have changed.

Samantha -
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art 

United States I smile, and I smile, and I smile.© 2014

     I stared up at the clouds swirling above my head; big white balls of cotton candy. I tried to lose myself in their gentle simplicity but my thoughts still crept inside my head. Their spindly, dark fingers scratching at my skull; begging to be let out. I felt the rough scrape of their tongues against the bone, felt the echo of their whispers in my ears. Their hisses and moans were thunderous.

     “I’m stronger than them, though…” I whispered up to the clouds; a somber smile on my lips. At least today I am….



     “ Worthless…useless…good-for-nothing…ugly…fat…horrid…disgusting…” I try to close off my ears from their words; but how do you….when the voices come from between them?

      “ Why don’t you just die already?” I looked deep into the mirror, at my face. I look wretched, just as they say. Tired, exhausted worn. Dark circle stains beneath my eyes and sunken cheeks; my eyes have lost their color…I think they may have been blue once, but now, they are only gray. My world is gray.
     
     “ Shh, Baby.” One of the voices purred, a beautiful sound among the horrid words. “ I’ll make you feel all better, you just watch.” It takes my hand and together we reach for the razor on the sink’s edge.“ Don’t you feel better now?” It cooed as it caressed my skin with the metal.

     “I’m stronger than you…” I whispered, slumped against the bathroom wall. Just not today…..



     I force the smile onto my lips, push the laugh past the. No one knows the difference; no one knows I am dying inside. Except the voices….they always know…. “ Why do you pretend?”  They taunt, “ You know you’ll never be happy.” I ignore them and I smile, and I smile and I smile. On the inside I weep, and I wail, I give in to their words, but on the outside…I smile, and I smile, and I smile.

     “ I can help.” The beautiful voice tempts, wrapping me in its cold embrace. “ I know how you can be happy; I know how to make the voices stop. Forever.”

     Tears in my eyes, running black down my face, “I was never stronger than you….”

     “ We know.” The voice coos, pressing its frigid lips against my skin.

     I give in; melt into its thin, dark, consuming arms. I barely wince when the razor touches my flesh one last time; oh, but I smile, and I smile, and I smile.

© 2014

 

I am me;
plain, simple, to the point;
Oh?
That’s not enough for you?
All right then;
I am Samantha;
Everyone just calls me Sam;
I am a student;
Cramming her head full of knowledge she’ll never use;
I am a writer;
Hoping to one day make something worthwhile;
I am an artist;
Sketching doodles on her notes in class;
I am a daughter;
Forgetting to clean her room;
I am a sister;
Telling you to get out of my room;
I am a friend;
Sitting up till 3 a.m. texting people I see every day;
I am a girl;
Painting her nails black and playing with pocketknives;
What can I say?
I am me.

She's a marvelous artist with words and pictures.



 

What Is Cutting?

Emma's mom first noticed the cuts when Emma was doing the dishes one night. Emma told her mom that their cat had scratched her. Her mom seemed surprised that the cat had been so rough, but she didn't think much more about it.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html


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