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SUSAN JOHNSTON OWEN-JAZZ / SITE OWNER/MUSICIAN, WRITER,ARTIST, ELEMENTARY AND SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER (RETIRED)
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SEARCH IN THE BLUE BOXES BELOW OR LOOK AT THE TABLE OF CONTENTS IN THE 2ND BOX
2) Make sure kids know safe ways to be more than a bystander. When kids witness bullying, it can affect them too. Helping kids learn what they can do to help when they see bullying can help to stop bullying. Click here for more suggestions on how bystanders can help.
3) Know your state’s anti-bullying law and your school’s anti-bullying policy. Forty-nine states have laws requiring schools to have anti-bullying policies. Know what your school policy says and how to report an incident of bullying if you ever need to.
4) Learn how to support kids involved in bullying. When you find out your child is involved in bullying, it is important to know how to respond. Whether your child is bullying others or is the one being bullied it is important to know what steps to take, and which to avoid, in order to resolve the situation.
5) Take an active role in anti-bullying initiatives. The key to addressing bullying is to stop it before it starts. Work with your children, their school, and the community to raise awareness and take action against bullying. Toolkits like the Health Resources and Services Administration’s Community Action Training Modules can help you start an initiative in your community. You can get your children involved, too, by using the Youth Leaders Toolkit to help them mentor younger children.
Not just children it's on the rise in the workplace.
What Is Bullying?
Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings.
It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kids' sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.
1. Try not to give the bully an easy victim. Be someone the bully
does not want to pick on. Work on building good self-esteem. If you
feel confident inside yourself you won’t look like a victim and it will
be easier for you to stand up for your rights.
Work on building good self-esteem by:
· identifying what you are good at
· be involved in activities that you enjoy build, branch out or expand your hobbies and talents
Presenting yourself with confidence:
· make eye contact when speaking with someone
· use good posture (stand straight, shoulders back, be aware of personal space—3 -6 feel)
· pay attention to what you wear—is it right for the situation?
2. Develop ties with friends and family. This will help you to
feel less isolated. It will also provide you with support and someone to
Here are some ideas of where you might be able to get support.
Your friends—You may find that you aren’t the only one being
bullied. Hang around with your friends, the bully might get bored
waiting to catch you alone. Stick up for others who are being bullied.
Your parents—Hopefully you can talk to your parents and you can
discuss your problems easily. They care about you and may have some
ideas to help or may support you by talking to someone at school or
where the problem is.
Your teacher—Most teachers know how to handle bully situations
and will be able to help you. If your teacher doesn’t help then go and
see your principal.
Your coach or group leader—If the problem is during a group
activity then it is up to the adult to support you. If there is a bully
at work in your team then the team will not be doing their best.
The police or a community leader—If you have no one that you feel
comfortable talking to then go to your police station. Police do not
like bullies and will be able to give you some information that might
If you are still uneasy about the situation you must revisit
someone that gave you support. DO NOT GIVE UP. Keep telling until
Different types of bullying and what can be done about it:
Different Kinds of Bullying
1. Physical bullying includes any physical contact that would hurt or injure a person like hitting, kicking, punching, etc. Taking something that belongs to someone else and destroying it would also be considered a type of physical bullying. For example, if someone was walking down the street and someone came up to them and shoved them to the ground, that would be physical bullying. In elementary and middle schools, 30.5% of all bullying is physical.
2. Verbal bullying is name-calling, making offensive remarks, or joking about a person's religion, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or the way they look. For example, if there was a group of kids who made fun of another kid because he couldn't run as fast as everyone else, it would be an example of verbal bullying. 46.5% of all bullying in schools is the verbal type. Verbal aggression is when a bully teases someone. It can also include a bully making verbal threats of violence or aggression against someone's personal property.
3. Indirect bullying includes spreading rumors or stories about someone, telling others about something that was told to you in private, and excluding others from groups. An example would be if you started a rumor that a boy in your class likes playing with dolls, and if the reason that you made up the story was because you thought it was funny. This would be indirect bullying. Indirect bullying accounts for 18.5% of all bullying.
4. Social alienation is when a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose. It also includes a bully spreading rumors, and also making fun of someone by pointing out their differences.
5. Intimidation is when a bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make him or her do what the bully wants.
6. Cyberbullying is done by sending messages, pictures, or information using electronic media, computers (email & instant messages), or cell phones (text messaging & voicemail). For instance, if you sent a picture of a snake in an email to a person because you know that they are afraid of snakes, that would be an example of cyberbullying. According to a survey done in 2003 only 4% of bullying is listed as "other types" and this would include cyberbullying. Even though this number seems small, the growth of this type of bullying is going up fast because of the spread of technology around the world.
Workplace Bullying: Applying Psychological Torture at Work
What happens when a schoolyard bully
grows up and enters the workforce? Or worse, what if that bully
becomes your boss? The result can be outright aggressive behavior or a
subtle psychological torture that can make the workplace a living hell.
close to me is experiencing a horrible case of psychological bullying
at work. In her case, the main bully is a supervisor, but the
supervisor has created an "inner circle" that helps in applying the
bullying tactics. Her story caused me to look back on other cases of
bullying at work that I have encountered. Unfortunately, there have
been far too many.
What are the effects of bullying? Targeted employees can experience fear and anxiety, depression, and can develop a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder
- leading to psychological harm and actual physical illness. This
leads to absenteeism and turnover as bullied employees avoid or flee the
What are some of the tactics bullies use in the workplace?
Most commonly, bullies threaten the employment or career status of the
employee. Threats of being fired, or in my friend's case, a threat of
"I will dock your pay!" can be particularly troubling (even though my
friend is a union employee so her pay cannot actually be affected).
Silent Treatment. Often a bully and his or her "inner circle" will
ostracize victims to the extent of completely ignoring them - refusing
to even acknowledge their presence. In other instances, the bullies
will stop talking when the victim enters the room, but perhaps continue
talking in hushed tones with furtive looks at the victim, giggling
and/or making disapproving grunts. You know, the same kind of tactics
used in the schoolyard.
Rumors and Gossip.
Bullies love to spread lies and rumors about their victims, and these
can sometimes be quite vicious. Although untrue, rumors and gossip can
filter throughout the organization and actually tarnish an individual's
reputation. I've known many insidious cases where a bullied victim
sought to fight back, and the bullies spread rumors that the victim was
merely a "complainer" and a "problem employee."
may go so far as sabotaging the victim's work. This can be outright
(e.g., destroying or stealing a work product, or more subtle (e.g.,
altering someone's powerpoint presentation or omitting a page from a
101: Workplace Bullying
School anti-bullying policies are now commonplace. But what if you
feel unfairly targeted by a supervisor or co-worker at your job — to the
point where it’s difficult to enjoy your home life or vacation time?
Bullies pressure others to isolate you, make threats or sabotage your
work. Here are a few tips to combat a bully at work:
Confront, with caution. A
peaceful conversation with the bully about your dissatisfaction with
your treatment is in order, advises an article on SpeedUpCareer.com.
Articulately express your feelings to the bully in private. If you have
done something wrong and believe that’s what ticked off the bully,
apologize. “A confrontation of this sort does not leave room for
aggression and will mostly help the bully realize that he or she has
been unnecessarily ruthless,” the article states.
Document, document, document.
Every interaction with a workplace bully should be noted and all emails
must be saved. The paper trail gets you ready for a formal complaint,
says employment attorney Sheila Criscione in a WorkplaceViolenceNews.com
article. “Be vigilant and make sure your superior and senior managers,
as well as your human resources department, are put on notice of the
bully behavior,” she advises. Also, document the company’s response and
have a physician document your work-related stress symptoms.
Prepare for departure. Whether
or not you choose to sue, conditions at work may worsen and you may
want to leave your job. “There’s no guarantee anyone will do the right
thing,” says Dan Elash at Leader-Values.com. Elash recommends creating a
financial cushion, networking and lining up references well before
I frequently think about the young people and how they deal with today's world. Today I found some writing which inspired me. Welcome to my site Samantha. I think that it's time to start a page for stories and poems about the difficulties in growing up. Times have changed.
I stared up at the clouds swirling above my head; big white balls of
cotton candy. I tried to lose myself in their gentle simplicity but my thoughts
still crept inside my head. Their spindly, dark fingers scratching at my skull;
begging to be let out. I felt the rough scrape of their tongues against the
bone, felt the echo of their whispers in my ears. Their hisses and moans were
“I’m stronger than them, though…” I whispered up to the
clouds; a somber smile on my lips. At least today I am….
Worthless…useless…good-for-nothing…ugly…fat…horrid…disgusting…” I try to
close off my ears from their words; but how do you….when the voices come from
“ Why don’t you
just die already?” I looked deep into the mirror, at my face. I look
wretched, just as they say. Tired, exhausted worn. Dark circle stains beneath
my eyes and sunken cheeks; my eyes have lost their color…I think they may have
been blue once, but now, they are only gray. My world is gray.
“ Shh, Baby.”
One of the voices purred, a beautiful sound among the horrid words. “ I’ll make you feel all better, you just
watch.” It takes my hand and together we reach for the razor on the
sink’s edge.“ Don’t you feel better
now?” It cooed as it caressed my skin with the metal.
“I’m stronger than you…” I whispered, slumped against the
bathroom wall. Just not today…..
I force the smile onto my lips, push the laugh past the. No
one knows the difference; no one knows I am dying inside. Except the
voices….they always know…. “ Why do
you pretend?” They taunt, “
You know you’ll never be happy.” I ignore them and I smile, and I smile
and I smile. On the inside I weep, and I wail, I give in to their words, but on
the outside…I smile, and I smile, and I smile.
“ I can help.”
The beautiful voice tempts, wrapping me in its cold embrace. “ I know how you can be happy; I know how to
make the voices stop. Forever.”
Tears in my eyes, running black down my face, “I was never
stronger than you….”
“ We know.”
The voice coos, pressing its frigid lips against my skin.
I give in; melt into its thin, dark, consuming arms. I
barely wince when the razor touches my flesh one last time; oh, but I smile,
and I smile, and I smile.
I am me;
plain, simple, to the point;
That’s not enough for you?
All right then;
I am Samantha;
Everyone just calls me Sam;
I am a student;
Cramming her head full of knowledge she’ll never use;
I am a writer;
Hoping to one day make something worthwhile;
I am an artist;
Sketching doodles on her notes in class;
I am a daughter;
Forgetting to clean her room;
I am a sister;
Telling you to get out of my room;
I am a friend;
Sitting up till 3 a.m. texting people I see every day;
I am a girl;
Painting her nails black and playing with pocketknives;
What can I say?
I am me.
She's a marvelous artist with words and pictures.
What Is Cutting?
Emma's mom first noticed the cuts when Emma was doing the dishes one
night. Emma told her mom that their cat had scratched her. Her mom
seemed surprised that the cat had been so rough, but she didn't think
much more about it.