POETRY-LOVE AND LIFE
Susan Johnston Owen © 2010
A Smile At Last
The rhythm she feels is her heartbeat,
it hasn't seemed strong for awhile.
Stands by herself, she's just watching,
her heart will not beat though she tries.
Surveying, pretending she cares not,
she can't move the rhythm's not strong.
Her world is now one of confusion,
her desires appear out of her grasp.
Joining, her legs can't support her,
she's afraid of the beat in her heart.
Spotting what's been causing the changes,
it is her turn to understand why.
Her feet begin following his direction,
stepping with him taking this chance.
Grasping for time that will feed her,
knowing this longing is one that must last.
Grabbing the risk she moves forward,
the beat is just right for their dance.
He'll sustain her as long as she needs him,
there's happiness she feared not to find.
This is time to find life moving forward,
there's no containing the joy in her soul.
They twirl and spin round their dance floor,
her face shines in his eyes, watch her smile.
Whispering gently to tender ears
their hearts grow impatiently longing,
strength of souls discovering they'd found
glorious love blooming stronger every hour.
Two lovers become one uniting in passion
steadfastly forming a lasting bond.
Friends becoming unable to separate,
astounded by similarities in their being.
Lost in a loveless relationship long ended,
passion's rapture was not theirs to escape.
Devoted to happiness they gifted one another,
the past, as they new it, ceased to exist.
Fervently praying for a long desired dream,
both had been edging toward loss of hope.
Love had betrayed, escaping their lives.
alas this cherished dream was theirs.
When the sun is high in the sky each day,
these lovers talk as they wait for peace.
invented to please,
creation of music so lovely to calm.
Time travels too slowly in longings to be
alone in thoughts for their yearnings.
Night comes to wrap them in whispers,
waiting anxiously for a love not denied.
Susan Johnston Owen 11/2012
ANOTHER PROZAC MOMENT
The thought of sharing another Prozac moment
has me wishing to hide my confused psyche under soft down.
Lack of tolerance has combined with fear
that we will never be on the same page in anything.
The spontaneity in my personality has been quashed
to the point where trying to please is burdensome.
Love shouldn't be an inconvenience; perhaps responsibility
to include another in the passing of your day;
not a chore to sadden your spirit into turmoil.
Even as this is being written there is awareness
of another misunderstanding which will occur;
when this is only my way of mapping my feelings.
New territory with lack of all useful direction,
wishing for warm refuge as you hold me in your arms,
not a report card stating how well we did tonight.
There is no effort involved in caring for you,
it's natural, desired, sweet, memorable.
What the hell happened to push it under a magnifier?
No one need tell me my mouth works faster than my brain,
that flaw is my affliction; liability.
Why is it so hard to accept me as is?
Must everything in our lives be as scheduled as a train?
Last time I looked, the mirror said "woman", not steel,
I'm adjusting every minute of my life; have you?
Will we be able to find comfort in each other again,
or will exhaustion wear me down as you sleep in peace?
I hear the words, "I love you," contemplating us?
Is that the problem, thinking, overpowering desire?
How does one live with the fear of crossing your line?
Please accept what got your attention when we began:
neither one of us has left, there is true affection.
Time is fleeting, why are we wasting unnecessary minutes?
sjo/jazz5/12/2011/ rewritten 9/5/2012
On a Beach
lit the sky
felt by two
as the heat
between them grew.
He grabs her waist,
buckles her knees,
holding her tenderly.
Intense kisses lingered,
she was in awe.
~Peace at Last~
like a pane
of cracked glass that
in the next impact.
That year had been an
roller coaster journey.
Determined to comprehend
kept her driven
Two children gone,
both were fragile.
Raising a son
with total devotion;
had taught him well.
He is sincere,
any parent's pride,
a true joy.
Her raven haired beauty,
raised by others,
denied by the father
who helped create her;
grew in wounding confusion.
of the truth
was nearly too late.
Sleuthing for honesty,
she knew was Mama.
Guilt ridden with fear;
they needed bonding.
Her child felt deserted,
had felt guilty
too many years.
desert her again,
they began to travel
a prickly path.
Loving was easy,
crashing down the walls,
A battle of wills,
an unfathomable thought.
The mother would
stand her ground,
this young woman
Mama learned to say,
Peace within their souls
One who loved her
her confused soul.
How can you love
loss of affection?
How do you get through
the fences she'd built?
It's difficult to love her,
stand by her.
he gave her
In the end
able to breathe,
no longer exists
for either woman
Light reaches their hearts
as bleeding tears
forgive the past.
s.j. owen © 2012
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