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SUSAN JOHNSTON OWEN-JAZZ  /  SITE OWNER/MUSICIAN, WRITER,ARTIST, ELEMENTARY AND SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER (RETIRED)

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 SEARCH IN THE BLUE BOXES BELOW OR LOOK AT THE TABLE OF CONTENTS IN THE 2ND BOX

LOVE/LIFE

POETRY-LOVE AND LIFE

Susan Johnston Owen © 2010

 

 




 

 A Smile At Last

The rhythm she feels is her heartbeat,
it hasn't seemed strong for awhile.
Stands by herself, she's just watching,
her heart will not beat though she tries.
Surveying, pretending she cares not,
she can't move the rhythm's not strong.

Her world is now one of confusion,
her desires appear out of her grasp.
Joining, her legs can't support her,
she's afraid of the beat in her heart.
Spotting what's been causing the changes,
it is her turn to understand why.

Her feet begin following his direction,
stepping with him taking this chance.
Grasping for time that will feed her,
knowing this longing is one that must last.
Grabbing the risk she moves forward,
the beat is just right for their dance.

He'll sustain her as long as she needs him,
there's happiness she feared not to find.
This is time to find life moving forward,
there's no containing the joy in her soul.
They twirl and spin round their dance floor,
her face shines in his eyes, watch her smile.
sjo/jazz
rewritten 12/5/2012

 


   YEARNINGS

Whispering gently to tender ears
their hearts grow impatiently longing,
strength of souls discovering they'd found
glorious love blooming stronger every hour.

Two lovers become one uniting in passion
steadfastly forming a lasting bond.
Friends becoming unable to separate,
astounded by similarities in their being.

Lost in a loveless relationship long ended,
passion's rapture was not theirs to escape.
Devoted to happiness they gifted one another,
the past, as they new it, ceased to exist.

Fervently praying for a long desired dream,
both had been edging toward loss of hope.
Love had betrayed, escaping their lives.
alas this cherished dream was theirs.


When the sun is high in the sky each day,
these lovers talk as they wait for peace.
invented to please,
creation of music so lovely to calm.


Time travels too slowly in longings to be
alone in thoughts for their yearnings.
Night comes to wrap them in whispers,
waiting anxiously for a love not denied.

Susan Johnston Owen  11/2012


 

 

 

ANOTHER PROZAC MOMENT

The thought of sharing another Prozac moment
has me wishing to hide my confused psyche under soft down.
Lack of tolerance has combined with fear
that we will never be on the same page in anything.

The spontaneity in my personality has been quashed
to the point where trying to please is burdensome.
Love shouldn't be an inconvenience; perhaps responsibility
to include another in the passing of your day;
not a chore to sadden your spirit into turmoil.

Even as this is being written there is awareness
of another misunderstanding which will occur;
when this is only my way of mapping my feelings.
New territory with lack of all useful direction,
wishing for warm refuge as you hold me in your arms,
not a report card stating how well we did tonight.


There is no effort involved in caring for you,
it's natural, desired, sweet, memorable.
What the hell happened to push it under a magnifier?
No one need tell me my mouth works faster than my brain,
that flaw is my affliction; liability.

Why is it so hard to accept me as is?
Must everything in our lives be as scheduled as a train?
Last time I looked, the mirror said "woman", not steel,
I'm adjusting every minute of my life; have you?
Will we be able to find comfort in each other again,
or will exhaustion wear me down as you sleep in peace?


I hear the words, "I love you," contemplating us?
Is that the problem, thinking, overpowering desire?
How does one live with the fear of crossing your line?
Please accept what got your attention when we began:
neither one of us has left, there is true affection.

Time is fleeting, why are we wasting unnecessary minutes?


sjo/jazz5/12/2011/ rewritten 9/5/2012 

 


On a Beach

The
warmth
of
the
ocean
tickled
their
toes
as
they
sauntered
idly.

Lovers
longing
to
find a
clandestine
corner
speed
their
pace.

Evening light
lit the sky
heightening
desires
felt by two
in lust.

Crisp air
went unnoticed
as the heat
between them grew.
Grasping
in
wanton
desire
their bodies
begin
to glow.

He grabs her waist,
buckles her knees,
holding her tenderly.
Intense kisses lingered,
she was in awe.

sjo/jazz 1/30/2011

 

 


 

 

 

~Peace at Last~

 

She remained

emotionally brittle

like a pane

of cracked glass that

would break

in the next impact.

That year had been an

inescapable

terrorizing

roller coaster journey.

 

Determined to comprehend

the happenings

kept her driven

Two children gone,

both were fragile.

Raising a son

with total devotion;

setting limits

giving examples

her love

had taught him well.

He is sincere,

bright,

uncomplicated

any parent's pride,

a true joy.

 

Her raven haired beauty,

raised by others,

denied by the father

who helped create her;

grew in wounding confusion.

Her knowledge

of the truth

was nearly too late.

Sleuthing for honesty,

she confronted

the woman

she knew was Mama.

 

Guilt ridden with fear;

they needed bonding.

Her child felt deserted,

her mother

had felt guilty

too many years.

Gentle,

kind,

spirited,

yet insecure;

fearing anyone

desert her again,

they began to travel

a prickly path.

 

Loving was easy,

crashing down the walls,

disastrous.

A battle of wills,

a siege.

Saying "no"

an unfathomable thought.

                                                                                       The mother would

stand her ground,

this young woman

needed redirecting.

Mama learned to say,

"No, enough!"

 

Peace within their souls

arrived.

One who loved her

beauty,

vivacity

mind

was unable

to handle

her confused soul.

How can you love

a woman

who fears

loss of affection?

How do you get through

the fences she'd built?

 

It's difficult to love her,

hold her

stand by her.

Yet,

he gave her

the closure

desperately needed.

 

In the end

able to breathe,

forgive,

the cloudy,

cracked

brittle

glass pane,

no longer exists

for either woman

Light reaches their hearts

as bleeding tears

forgive the past.

 

s.j. owen  © 2012



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